Come What May
by Lady Celebare
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi is experiancing the double blow of Anakin's loss and Padme's grief. He wants to express how he feels to her, but how can he when he is the cause of her pian? Obidala Songfic!


Notes: Well, you knew it'd happen sooner or later… yep, I got suspended from fanfiction.net.  I received the most insulting letter regarding my suspension… it was so condescending and insulting, I nearly kicked my CPU over.  Ah, such is life at such a biased, rule-ridden site… I'm only here for the reviews, folks.  Anyway, as of today, Sept. 30, I'm officially back and writing.  For those who care, Twinsabers and Jedi Fellowship will be updated soon.  Don't expect any new Talkshows or outtakes, 'cos I can't risk a 

banning of this s/n.  

Anyway, regarding this actual fic… it was purely inspired by my thinking that 'Come What May' was an absolutely timeless love song with value for most relationships.  I chose to express this as an Obidala mainly because… well, it's not too hard to figure out.

So please, enjoy my first songfic in a very long while!

TITLE: Come What May

RATING: PG – it's harmless, really: a bit dark perhaps, but still harmless.

SUMMARY: Songifcs don't have very good summaries O.o it's done to 'Come what May', and it's an Obidala.  What more must you know?  Just a warning, this does switch perspective a total of two times.  It's not too difficult to figure out where, but I figured I'd tell you anyway.

-Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

Want to vanish inside your kiss

Every day I love you more and more-

            Perhaps I was denying my own soul, all these years.  It's been over a decade, and I realize what Anakin was feeling that day when he confessed that he had been thinking of her… as I am now.  Every time I look upon her beautiful face, my heart leaps… I remember twelve years ago, when I first spoke to her.  She was so proud, so sad… as she is now.  Oh, how can I feel this way for her when she's suffered such a loss, when I've suffered just as much?  We've both lost someone we love very deeply, but in two different ways… 

Anakin was my student, and in some ways, almost like a son.  We were thrown together through destiny, and though I resented him at first, his death scarred my heart forever… I feel such guilt… How could I have failed at training him so terribly?  I lost him to a darkness that I should have been able to prevent.  I've hurt her so… I know I am the cause of her pain… I killed her husband.

-Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?

Telling me to give you everything-

            Does she know how much I care for her?  I want to open my heart to her, but I feel it will cause her only grief… all I can do is be there for her in her sorrow.  But, gods, it's not enough!  She's wasting away before my eyes from grief!  What can I do for her to cure her of this?  I lost Anakin to the darkness… but I cannot lose her.  If I cannot love her, I can at least care for her, and heal her…

-Seasons may change, winter to spring

But I love you, until the end of time

Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day-

            "Padme," I whisper softly as I approach, my heart aching for her.  Tearstains streak her pale, perfect cheeks, and dark circles rim her reddened eyes.  She hasn't been sleeping much.  "Are you all right?"

            She nods slowly, not looking up at me.  Does she hate me for what I did to her love?  It's torture, this not knowing… I must know whether I can ever love her, or else this pain will eat away at me until I die… I know I will die.  I've never loved anyone else this way before.  Oh, gods, I've never loved before!  It's torment, from both sides of my being!  My pupil, dead, lost to the dark side, and the woman I love wasting away from grief…

            "Padme, I… I have to ask you something," I say haltingly, faltering, kneeling before her.  She finally looks up, into my eyes, but I cannot sense her feelings towards me.  They are guarded, and this worries me.  "Do… do you hate me for what I did to… to Anakin?"

            She flinches at the name.  Oh, I've ruined it… I should never have brought it up.  I re-opened her emotional wounds.  I would give her my saber now and tell her to take my life for hurting her so!  

"No… no Obi-Wan.  I could never hate you… it wasn't your fault." She looked ready to cry, and my heart breaks.  "It wasn't your fault… it was no one's fault.  He'd been dying for two years… and it pains me to say so, but I regretted marrying him… I only sped his descent."

My heart leaps at these words, and a glimmer of hope flickers in my heart…guilty hope… am I benefiting from his death?

"It hurts so much, not having him here… especially now…" her hands flew instinctively, protectively to her bulging abdomen and the promise residing there.  "But Obi-Wan, I… I need you.  Please, don't leave me…"

"Why would I?"

"I'm so afraid… everyone seems to be dying, or leaving… I feel so alone, so helpless!" Tears spring fresh to her eyes, and I reach out to comfort her.  She clutches at my robe weakly, and I feel her moist cheek press against mine, quivering.  She shakes like a terrified child.

"Shh, it's all right… I'm here… I won't leave you…" I gently rock her, stroking her silky, smooth hair.  Her whole body quakes as wracking sobs escape her fragile frame, and I fear she will break here in my arms, shattering into a thousand perfect pieces.

She nuzzles my neck gently, her fingers tracing patterns across my back, and a shiver runs through me.  She reaches up to me, to press her soft lips to mine… 

But suddenly she stiffens and pulls away, a look of fear and shame and keening grief upon her face.  "I'm sorry… I shouldn't… I know your laws… I…" she trailed off, and stood abruptly, turning to leave.  I rise also and take her hand, and she turns to face me, fear written in her features.

"It's all right," I murmur softly.  "Please… don't go."

-Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly moves with such a perfect grace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you-

            Can he understand what my heart is saying?  It's as if he can read my mind… I feel so terribly ashamed, loving him the way I do, when I know his council forbids it.  I feel ashamed that whenever I was with Anakin, I imagined it was this man standing before me instead… I feel as if I'm dishonoring his memory… but what sort of husband was he to me anyway?  Obi-Wan is far more protective and loyal to me, more loving… or do I only wish it were so?

            Is this why he's stopping me from leaving?  Is his love too much to ask?  For years I've thought about him, his kind words soothing my aching spirit, his strong arms defending me from all manner of assassins and criminals… when I saw him again two years ago, when my… late husband was with him, I wanted so much to tell him how I felt… but seeing him standing there before me, strong and proud, a Jedi Knight, I knew my hopes were for naught.  

            But now… now he speaks the words I never thought I would hear from his lips.  Can this be true?  Tell me this isn't just a dream…

            "I love you too, Obi-Wan," I whisper as he wraps me in his warm, protective embrace.  I feel so safe now, and my sorrows evaporate… this is all I need…

-And there's no mountain too high

No river too wide

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather and storms may collide-

            Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala stood still in the center of the darkened room, wrapped in each other's arms.  All the longing and pain and desperate grief of the past months evaporated, and nothing could separate them now… not even the looming threat of the man named Darth Vader.  

-But I love you

[I love you]

Until the end of time

Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Oh come what may

Come what may

I will love you-

            And a few weeks later, when the promise of Padme's children was fulfilled, it was Obi-Wan at her bedside, holding her hand, murmuring gentle words of strength into her ear.  He held the little boy and girl in his arms as if he were their father, as if their father had never died at all, but had just been Obi-Wan in disguise, a crude charade to fool the evils of the world.  And Padme could be heard murmuring into the ears of her sleeping children the words that Obi-Wan had spoken to her before…

"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place…"

-Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day-

            Thus it was doubly cruel of the fates when the shade of Padme's former husband managed to destroy their union for eternity.  The bitterest agony of the Senator's death was the fact that Obi-Wan remained alive, to face two decades of torment without her, until Vader's blade finally brought him back into her waiting arms.

A/N: Oook, so I admit it was a little dark there at the end, but I could't help myself.  After all, any Obidala would be a great tragedy – Obi-Wan survives Padme.  Anyway, constructive criticisms are welcome!


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